Heya, it’s been a while. Totally my fault – life has been a trip hasn’t it? I wouldn’t even know where to begin, or how to cover the past year and then some since I posted here in January 2020. Was that only last year?? In Australia, we weren’t even using the dreaded C word yet… the entire world is just different now. I am different. I’m sure we all are.
Why am I posting today? To let y’all know I’m still around I guess. Every year my website renewal notice arrives and I question why I keep paying for this space. Every year (the past few anyway), I question if it’s worth the money, considering I haven’t produced new work in, oh, let’s just say a WHILE now. This website barely pays for itself. I forget to log in and keep it updated. Or I just don’t have time. It all seems too hard.
I should just let it go, I tell myself.
But I never can. My books are still published, out there and available. Sometimes people even buy them :). Yes, at times I look at this site and it almost seems like Sami The Author is a dream I once had. But in reality I know in so many ways over the past decade or more, Sami The Author saved me from losing myself completely. I was often more authentically me when I was Sami, than I was when being my ‘real life’ self. This site, the books I’ve written and the experiences I’ve had and the people I’ve met, have meant a lot to me. They still do.
So maybe I haven’t written a book in five years. So maybe there’s no romance in my heart anymore lol. So maybe the world seems like it’s imploding. Maybe, there’s no point to my being here in this tiny corner of the internet.
Maybe.
But I just paid to keep this place going for another year. So. I suppose I’m still not ready to let it go. Perhaps I still have a few things to say.
I guess we’ll see.
Love to you all,
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Sami