No, I haven’t been blogging much lately. I’ve let things slip here this year for a few reasons.
1) Because earlier in the year when I was hacked I had to completely redo my site and in the process I lost all my old posts. I kept a copy of the ones I thought were pertinent, and I might repost them over the course of the next few months. But in effect I felt like I was starting from scratch and my energy levels have not made it easy for me to imagine starting all over again.
2) Said energy levels have not allowed me to do much more than drag myself out of bed and go to my day job, feed and clothe the kids and remind them I love them. That Mummy’s not sad because of anything they’ve done, but she is just…sad, because of forces that seem beyond her control.
**BTW the fiction has been going very slowly as well, which is something I’ll talk more about at another time. Maybe I’ll talk about the sadness too. If I can articulate it without sounding like a callused cynical bitch (something I’ve thus far failed to do… so many posts written and not published).
3) I’m tired. Not the “I haven’t been getting enough sleep” tired, but the soul weary “I’m not sure there’s even a point to doing any of this anymore” kind of tired that kills your motivation to do most things beyond the absolutely necessary. The “first world problem” tired that allows me in my privileged life to have these kind of slumps. I recognise this is an indulgent melancholy. Recognising it as such is, however, not enough to simply make it go away. Anyone who’s been ‘down’ for a significant period of time will tell you that. Knowing there are other people much worse off than you should help, but it just doesn’t.
4) I’ve been wondering if people are even reading blogs anymore, any beyond the obvious ones that have huge followings, like Terrible Minds for instance.
So are you? Are you reading?
(If you like to leave a genuine comment, I will approve it. The reason I need moderation on though is because I just don’t know another way to stop the barrage of spam comments that pour in once I’ve published something. I do my entire site on my own, with a very limited technical knowledge and even more limited time, so for now that is the way it has to be).
I do have things in the works, writing wise though, and here is where I’ll keep you updated and remind myself that I am moving forward. I promise I am. News is coming soon. And I’ll still be on all the social media sites I’m currently on, of course. They are after all the easiest things to update when you’re out and about, whereas I can only update the blog when I’m at home on my laptop.
But I’ll be here too.
Next time I’m going to talk about why I think it’s important for me to keep blogging.