5 Reasons Life is Not a Romance Novel

Just watched that Supernatural episode where the boys end up in an alternative reality where their lives are just a TV show called Supernatural and they can’t act and Castiel is just Misha who obnoxiously tweets everything they say.

JensenGod I love this show

It was very meta. And reminded me of a post I wrote a few years back on the Diva blog about life and how it’s different to a romance novel. Alternative realities and all that. I thought I’d repost it for fun. Enjoy. This is what life would be like if we actually lived in a romance novel.

5 reasons life is not a romance novel

  1. Romance novel heroines don’t seem to have a monthly cycle. The only time the issue of a heroine’s period seems to arise is when she skips it. i.e. the super virile hero got her pregnant that time they used a condom but his man junk burst so forcefully from his member that it broke and voila! There’s a secret baby.
  2. There’s no PMS in romance novels (see above). When the hero says “You’re beautiful” the lucky girl in question melts. She doesn’t say “Beautiful? You’re just saying that because you think I’m fat. You were perving on that woman, weren’t you? She’s beautiful. I’m a cow! How come you never buy me flowers anymore?”
  3. One night stands routinely lead to relationships in romance novels. Because every guy who picks up a stray woman in a bar immediately thinks “Hey man, she’s totally easy. I’m going to pull out all the stops to romance her and then introduce her to my mother.” If life were a romance novel, you could forget perfectmatch.com. Just head to the nearest bar, throw back a few margaritas and wait for the gorgeous undercover cops/millionaire CEOs/hunky race car drivers to come a-sniffing. You’d find a husband like that, guaranteed.
  4. In romance novels, your best friend is always a bigger slut than you (that’s quite a feat, given point No 3).
  5. Does anyone in real life get to say “Oh my God, I don’t think I can fit that all in!”

Happy Monday


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